The Weight Of Love
by Inspirationandimagination
Summary: Please promise me that no matter what you'll never go, she said one day, he answered, of course I'll be always by your side, he left leaving her alone and naked. Now months after the stick had turned blue and she have to face this. Alone….. E/O
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: SVU they belong to Dick Wolf.**

**A/N: Thanks so much to ladybugsmomma for beta-ing.**

_**The Weight Of Love**_

_**Prologue**_

After twelve years of having his back, she had the realization that she had fallen in love with him and she could not live without him.

Seeing him almost 24 hours a day, all week, she shared things with him, cried with him, all those things now were replaced by nothing. She doesn't know where he is, what he's doing, is he alright? She wonders every minute of every hour. Does he need a shoulder to cry on? All those questions are always circling around her mind until she remembers that they don't have an answer now and maybe never will have one.

Her life now is falling apart; her heart is completely broken. Every night she cries herself to sleep because of the emptiness of his departure. Not even a relationship with an ADA could fill the place of Elliot, that man, the only man who never lied to her, who never let her down, and who always had her back. He was her shelter from the cruelty of the world, from the pain, from all the ghosts from her past.

He is the only symbol of trust and family in her life, with him she feels safe, complete, and all those things that she had never felt before.

Now, a couple months after a rough case, she had all these realizations. She finally understood what he meant to her and she can say, now, that she is in love with him. She decided that she can't deny these feelings anymore because if she does, she will self-destroy her and no one, not even him, will save her of her own darkness.

Life for Olivia Benson is nothing without him, and she wonders why she has become so dependent on him, but that thought is replaced for her caring about him.

The only thing that she had heard about him is that he is divorced, jobless, and alone. His kids don't want to talk to him because he's become a depressed man and Kathy doesn't think that he is a good example for them.

Their lives are falling apart. They need one to another to live, to breathe, to feel, and they have become one over the past years. They're soul mates, but the distance and the denied feelings are destroying them. The memories of the last night they've spent together fill their minds every second of every day.

They were one for one night, two months ago. He came to her apartment to say goodbye forever. That was what he told her, but she didn't want to say goodbye. He confessed his feelings for her and she did the same. After they kissed, he was taking her clothes off and they were making love in her bed. Making love, that's the right term because, for them, it wasn't just sex. It was their pure love. When they finished, he held her tight and soon after they fall sleep. The next morning, he was gone and she was crying like someone had taken half of her.

That was one month ago. Now, she had to move on because today, after work, after the stick turned blue, she would have to do this alone because Elliot isn't there for her. He doesn't have her back anymore. Since the day he walked out of her apartment, he walked out of her life.

**A/N: Should I continue? Review :)**


	2. Chapter 1: The Truth

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU :(**

**A/N: I'm so sorry about the delay, thanks so much for your reviews; you gave me the motivation I needed.**

**A/N 2: Thanks so much to my amazing beta reader ladybugsmomma.**

_**The Weight Of Love**_

_**Chapter 1: The truth.**_

In the moment she saw the blue line in the white plastic stick, memories from that night started to fill her mind. She was carrying Elliot's baby. She was finally pregnant, but it wasn't how she pictured it.

He left her twice, but the second time was the worst. She felt completely overwhelmed when she woke up and he wasn't there. In that precise moment she wished she had never met him. She wished she had never been partnered with him. She wished she had never fallen in love with him, but now it was too late for regrets. The damage was done, her heart was broken, and she was pregnant with the baby of the man who left her.

She had to be strong for her baby. He needs her strong. Olivia decided that she will be on desk duty the whole pregnancy because she wasn't young anymore, so she had more chances of miscarriage.

Olivia walked to her window. She wanted to look outside and pictured herself walking on the streets with a stroller and her little baby curled inside.

"You are going to be loved, little one," she said while she ran a hand above her flat stomach. She couldn't wait until her child start to grow inside her belly.

In Brooklyn, Elliot was trying to get out of bed, but he was so full of his own misery. Every day was a fight for him. He was there and completely alone, fighting his demons. He fell onto the ground so many times, but someone give him the strength to continue. Olivia, the woman of his dreams, his only love, he had ruined everything with her. He doesn't deserve her he thought every day. She was too good for him, but the only night she was his, he had **ed up pretty badly, leaving her alone in the morning.

'You're a man Elliot. You're not some teenage boy. Olivia wasn't your mistress or a night stand. You divorced Kathy to be with her for twelve years of having feelings. The fact that you stayed in your house, not loving Kathy, sunk your marriage since day one. Jesus Elliot, why were you so stupid?' He thought then punched the wall in front of him.

'You have to fix the things with Olivia. She's the woman for you, and you're the man for her.' he kept saying to himself.

Elliot had decided to fix things with Olivia. He got up from the couch, went to the bathroom, and took a shower. Then he dressed in a pair of jeans and Olivia's favorite shirt and headed out to Olivia's apartment.

Olivia was sitting in her couch with a hand over her stomach watching TV, when suddenly she heard a knock on her door. She got up to answer it. When she saw Elliot standing the hallway, her heart almost stopped.

"What are you doing here Elliot?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We don't have anything to talk about. Please go and don't come back." She tried to close the door, but Elliot's foot was on the way.

"We need to talk. You can't run away from your problems Olivia."

"You were the one who ran away Elliot! How dare you to sleep with me and then leave me the morning after? I thought you cared about me!" Olivia walked inside the apartment leaving the door open, which was indirectly an invitation for Elliot who walked inside the apartment and closed the door.

"Olivia I love you and I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone. I was stupid Liv, please forgive me." She wasn't looking at him. She couldn't because listening to those things felt like a gunshot directly to the heart. Olivia started to cry. She couldn't show emotion like this, in front of him, so she ran into her bathroom and minutes after Elliot went after her.

"Olivia, open the door!" Elliot demanded.

"Elliot, go away! You hurt me so damn bad! This is your fault!"

He walked to Olivia's bed and decided to wait for her. They needed to talk. Suddenly, he felt he was sitting on something. He got up and that's when he saw it, a pregnancy test with a plus sign. It was positive. Olivia was pregnant. He couldn't believe this. He started to pace looking for an explanation when he saw a frame in Olivia's nightstand. It was a sonogram of the baby. Elliot touched the glass of the frame with his thumb and the tears started to fall. He saw that above the picture said "fetus, four weeks old". He confirmed it then, she was carrying their baby and he hurt her so much.

Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Olivia was crying hard and started to feel sick. She leaned over the toilet and threw up everything she'd eaten that morning. After two minutes of dizziness, Olivia opened the door of the bathroom and saw a shocked Elliot waiting for her and holding the frame with the sonogram.

"Elliot, what are you doing still here?"

"You are p-pregnant, Olivia?"

"Yes, I am."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant with MY BABY?"

"Elliot, you disappeared, remember?

"I didn't mean to. I was scared and my life was a mess. I was jobless. My kids don't talk to me, so I tried to say goodbye. I thought it was the best thing for you, but I made a mistake. Please, Olivia, let me be part of the baby's life."

"I don't know Elliot. You've already left twice. What if I forgive you and you left again? I don't know if I could survive that."

"Please Liv! I want to be there for you and our baby. I love you, please! Give me one more chance Liv! I promise I'll never left again!"

"Look El, let me think about it, Ok?"

"Take your time Liv. I know this is hard for you, but I promise you today that I'll never go again."

With those last words, Elliot left Olivia's apartment, thinking about Olivia and how could he hurt her like that. She doesn't deserve that and now she was pregnant with his son. The son who was conceived that night one month ago and he wished so badly had never left her the morning after, but it was too late. He already did the damage. Now he had to fix this, no matter what. He had to make this right for Olivia and their son. He knew that he had to show Olivia he was really sorry, and it wasn't going to be easy.

**A/N: So? What do you think? Review please :)**


	3. AN

Hello guys, it's been a while since I updated this story, I have to tell you that I'm not going to update this at least for a month, I'm having serious problems with my grades in high school :(, besides I have a serious writer's block and I can't over it. I promise you that I'm going to update this anytime when the inspiration hits me. I want to thank every one who has support this story, reading, reviewing, following etc.

And I just want to say to all those guests who write nasty reviews in the stories, if you don't like the plot, the ship etc. DON'T READ IT, and stop making me feel bad and doubting of my habilities as a writer because you're not going to make me feel bad.

Thanks so much for your support and love :)

Good luck and see you soon.

Lots of love.

Mar.


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